My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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