Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
