Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
