you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
