So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
