Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
