you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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