Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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