There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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