Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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