something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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