Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
