It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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