oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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