OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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