dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
