you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
