he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
