Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize