Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sober January is a disaster.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
