I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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