My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
