She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
