Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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