Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Im part way to drunk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
