What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
