Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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