She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
