as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I understand Curling. That high.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
