Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
