I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
