We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
