I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
