The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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