Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
