sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
