And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
