do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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