I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
