You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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