its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
