My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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