you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
