I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
