that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
