I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
