Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
