My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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