I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
