If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to make out with him forever
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
