if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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