he shaved USA in his pubs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
