I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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