is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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