the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
