Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
how can u be prego again
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
