My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize