There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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